Five things that Ian should not say on a blind date

1. “Before we order, I’d just like to explain the way I smell this evening.”
2. “You may be wondering about this strange growth on my mouth.  Hand to god, it’s not a herpe.”
3. “Hey chief.  CHIEF!!  You’re Cinderella15 on Match?!” (actually overheard)
4. “Before we kick this thing off, I gotta tell you, my mom needs to talk to you right now.  No, right now.”
5. (Begins to loudly sing along to the Bon Jovi song playing on the jukebox…)

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