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Hi mom,

Sorry about the interruption yesterday.  Life intervened, as you were so fond of saying.

What to say?

I spoke to Dani today (not your favorite, I know, but she and her husband are amazing).  Her boy is great.  She’s still doing jewelry.  She misses you, moms.  Maybe you two should make up, now that you’re gone (pushed that forever but neither of you ever listened).

What else?  Eric & I got dad tickets to the Giants v. the Phillies.  Trying to help him get past his asociations..?  associations?  between those games and his grief for you.

Is that okay?

I asked L a question yesterday– why I threw so much effort into a man who (sorry– I know your feelings on this) didn’t give 2/5ths of a shit about me.

She shrewdly refused to answer, but I think I know my own heart, here: we can’t leave him alone any more than we could leave you by your bedside, jacked into all of those awful machines.  Perhaps, more to the point, you would not only buck at the notion of us leaving, you’d probably guilt the every-loving crap out of us until we took that cranky fucker out for a burger or something.

Er and I are trying here, mom.

I miss you.  I love you.



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