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Hi mom,

It’s Thursday. Never could get the hang of these damned things. Eric & I had a tough Wednesday, so we wound up toasting to you earlier in the week. I’m certain we’ll toast to you later, as well.

Lauren sends her love.

If I were to tell you what’s been going on here these days, I’m not certain you’d believe me.  Everyone’s really sad right now, & it doesn’t feel like there’s a hell of a lot of hope In the world.  I’ve been taking comfort in the words you said to me way back when Kurt Cobain took his own life.

Do you remember?

You were so sad, so concerned.  I think, largely, for me…  You told me that he’d taken his life before he could see that there was an end to the darkness, to his pain. Basically, that, over the course of a life, darkness comes. But darkness does pass.

Those words got me through a lot of the worst bits of my youth.

I don’t know if you ever knew that.

Anyway, I love you.  L & I talk about you all the time.  My hand is cramping like a bastard, but I’ll say this:

Your little brother is getting married in April. When I brought up mentioning you, & how much you would have loved to be there in a toast, L, QUITE RIGHTLY, that it’d be a total downer on the heels of a downer year.

I guess I did something right, there.

I love you, moms, & I’m missing you now, more than ever.




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